I’m scared.
About a month ago, I went to my doctor and complained once again about my abdominal pains. I don’t get them often, but when I do, they can be unbearable. I had talked to her about it before, but she wanted to just “watch and see” how I did after some diet changes and such.
After some diet changes and such, there wasn’t really any improvement. I had done my own research on WebMD and other corners of the interwebs and had decided that I had gall stones.
A pretty green gallbladder
So, this time I got to see a different doctor in the practice, and she immediately gave me an order to go get an ultrasound of my abdomen to see what was going on in there. The US (ultrasound) confirmed that yes, I do indeed have gall stones. Yay me for already figuring that out. The doctor wanted to get better images of my innards, I guess to decide whether or not to remove my gall bladder, so they ordered an MRI.
The MRI also confirmed that yes, I do indeed have gall stones. (Well, DUH) That very same MRI also discovered something incidentally. It discovered a small, 2cm-ish “lesion” on my right kidney. Lesion is the word the chick used when she called to tell me about it. I wasn’t even expecting to hear anything about my MRI for another 3 days or so; so you can imagine how I felt when they called first thing the next morning (I later discovered that they had actually called the night before!)
Doctors do not call you at night unless they have bad news.
I have a 2cm “mass” on my right kidney. It was confirmed in greater detail by a follow-up CT scan of my kidneys. The urologist whose name I still can’t pronounce even after he said it to me, and even though a couple of nurses said it to me; he said that it is a partially solid, partially cystic mass. They’re not real sure what it is, but he’s “pretty sure it’s nothing really bad.” Yep. Those were his words. I’m banking on those words, you guys. I gotta. Otherwise, I’d be going insane over here with anxiety and panic.
Just in case you need a visual. You know, I had no idea our kidneys were so high up. Did you?
We’re just gonna cut you open and cut that sucker out, along with a bit of your kidney, and then we’ll figure out what it is (it’s nothing really bad, of course.) This is what Doctor Difficult-to-Pronounce-Last-Name said to me. Basically. I may have changed a few words. So I have to accept that I’m having surgery for something unidentified that is growing on my kidney. No biggie. Honestly, I’m more afraid of the pathology results AFTER the surgery, than I am of the surgery itself. And surgery is scary, yo. I’ve never had surgery. I’m scared.
I went to see my doctor again on Wednesday for a “surgical clearance” and she proceeds to tell me that the previously mentioned MRI also showed a teeny-tiny 2mm “nodule” on my left lung, that would be absolutely insignificant if it weren’t for the gigantic tumor 2 cm mass growing on my kidney. She wants me to get another CT scan. This time one of my chest, just to be sure there aren’t any more “nodules” anywhere else. If there are, it could mean this is a worst-case-scenario thing going on here. I won’t even say the word, but I know you’re all already thinking it. It’s okay. I was, too. I thought it the very first time that nurse on the phone told me that I have a “lesion” on my kidney.
The past month has been pretty rough for me mentally. I am a worrier and a worst-case-scenario kind of gal. Not because I like to be. Gods no. I have issues, folks. My brain is a crazy place. I have spent way too much time crying and being scared these past 4 weeks or so, and to be honest, part of me is actually starting to feel relieved about the surgery. It will all be over before I know it and I can put this nonsense behind me. I hope. Yeah, I’m hoping because that’s all I can do right now. Hope is a good and powerful thing, and it’s what I need to keep me from losing my shit.
The test results from the chest CT came back on Friday. My doctor called me personally. You know it isn’t good when that happens, you guys.
She told me that there are actually 3 teeny “nodules” on my lungs. Not just the one. And again, she reminded me that as tiny as these are, they wouldn’t be cause for alarm if it weren’t for the kidney thing. That is very little reassurance for someone like me; especially since the kidney thing even exists.
This is Dr.Oz inside some giant lungs. These are not my lungs, and I know this is barely related. I just really like Dr.Oz and this picture. Also, lungs.
It should not exist. It doesn’t belong there. It needs to get the fuck out of my body and never look back. Bastard kidney lesion mass-type thing.
Sorry. Sometimes you just gotta curse.
So now I wait. And I cry and worry (but not too much, because it does me no good.) I hate that we don’t know what it is. I hate that it was found incidentally, but I also love that it was found incidentally. If it wasn’t found, it would still be in there, and who knows when it would have decided to make itself known? 5 years from now in the form of pain and illness? 10 years from now? Who knows? I am trying to see the silver lining here. I really and truly am. I’m trying to believe that everything is going to be okay. I’m trying to stay positive and choose hope; because like I said, it’s what I need right now.
I am hopeful, but I am also scared. All of this is scary. Keep me in your thoughts, please. I need as much positive energy and hope as you can spare right now. Send it all to me. SEND ME ALL OF THE HOPE AND GOOD THINGS! Thanks.
Waiting and hoping,
Karin
Pinwheels and Poppies 
Hang in there! Sounds super scary and stressful. Take care of yourself and keep us posted.
Thank you. It is scary. I’ve never had any health problems, and suddenly this happens. My anxiety doesn’t help either. I’ll be sure to keep everyone posted. xoxo
This HAS TO BE NOTHING or I will personally kick all those motherfucking lesions,masses and nodules right in their bumpy little asses.
Huge hugs,hon. Nothing but hope and good stuff.
It HAS TO BE NOTHING. You are SO right. I ain’t got time for that shit. I’mma go crazy on all that nonsense otherwise. FEAR ME lesions, masses, and nodules! FEAR ME.
Thank you for your hope and good stuff. xoxo
Thinking of you, sending so much love. xoxoxoxo
Thank you, Kelly. So much. xoxo
I’d be beside myself so I can only imagine how you feel. We are here for you and sending you positive energy, light, love and prayers for positive things to come, mama. ❤
Wen I think about it too much, I’m a mess. I hesitated posting this because it meant that I’d have to talk about it and think about it even more. Thank you for the positive energy and prayers. They are greatly appreciated. xoxo
Sometimes, the answer, even if its an answer that scares the hell out of you, is a relief.
One of my favorite quotes is Professor Dumbledore (I know, I’m such a nerd!). He says, “Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”
Sending positive thoughts, friend.
You are so right. Dumbledore was a wise man. I like your nerdiness. Thank you for reading, Wendy, and thank you for your kind words. xoxo
When is the surgery? I am praying, shaking chickens and sending good juju. XOXO
Surgery is Thursday. Thank you for your prayers, chicken shaking, and good juju. And thanks so much for reading. xoxo
You are in my thoughts, and so is your family. Stay strong!
Thank you, Heather! xoxo
Sending you all the prayers, hugs, and good hopeful thoughts I can. I do not know you but in some way I feel like I have known you for a long time. I lost my wife of 44 years to cancer in May last year. She battled for 30 years with breast, colon, breast again, fibrosarcoma, and ovarian/peritoneal cancers. She (Rosemary) always kept smiling and had such strength through it all. I know how sacred you feel and the waiting for tests etc. are part of my story too. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. If you want to talk look me up on Facebook, or send an email. I can listen pretty well.(I think) 🙂
from what I shared a few days ago on FB Never, Never, Never Give up.
Thank you so much for reading, and for your thoughtful, kind comment, Richard. I’m sorry to hear about your wife and her long struggle. Blogging has a way of bringing people together and making them feel a sense of connection that I think is more special than people realize. The support and kind words from complete strangers here mean more to me than I can express.
Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. Love and light to you, sir. xoxo
Good luck with the surgery! Are they going to remove your gallbladder while they are at it? I read somewhere a cure for gallstones and can look it up if you need me to. Also have a lot of info on the other issue if you want me to send along. Will be praying for you!
Thank you! No, they won’t be removing my gall bladder, for whatever reason. Apparently I’m just not a candidate for that surgery. I guess they figure I can live with the stones and the pain they cause. Jerkfaces.
I’d love to read about curing the gall stones and whatever else you think would be helpful to me. I read so much on the internets, but you never know which info is good.
Thank you for reading and commenting and for your kind words. xoxo
Absolutely finding these things early is THE best thing!! Probably doesn’t have anything to do one with the other. I’m like you tho, I research things and so far diagnosed myself with stuff that only people in Africa get..and I’ve never been there 🙂 Smile. Stay strong!!
Early is a good thing, yes. It’s scary, but that is the silver lining. I’ve diagnosed myself with all sorts of things, too. Ignorance is truly bliss sometimes. Thank you for reading and commenting and for your support! xoxo
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!!!! Hugs to you. Try to stay positive!!!
Thank you so much for your kind words and prayers. I am staying as positive as I can! It’s rare for me! Thank you!
prayers are with you..I know the waiting is hard I have nodules on my thyroid.Had a biopsy had to wait a week for results long week..turned out negative.have to check every year..to make sure that they are not growing..very scary stuff..so try to think positive even though that’s hard to do..i feel for you..and pray for you too..
Thank you, Patti. You’re so right. Waiting stinks. Usually when you have to wait that long, the news is good. I hope your future scans also show good results. It’s all scary, but worrying does me no good. I know this, despite how often I worry.
Thank you for your kind words and prayers. They’re much appreciated!
will be sending good vibes and prayers your way, for you, for your family, for your medical team.
Thank you so much, Christine. I’ll take all the good vibes and prayers I can get. Thanks for reading.
NOPE. I am not okay with this. AT ALL. K, you tell those fucking nodules that Meredith is going to come bringing ass-kicking and lollipops, and she’s all out of lollipops.
Please stay well. I am thinking of you.
–Meredith
Ha! I’ll tell those bitch-ass nodules what’s up! Thank you, Meredith, for reading and leaving me such a kick-ass comment. Your support means a lot. Thank you. xoxo
Well, if it is any relief I had an almost identical situation a few years back…I had a ct scan for an unrelated medical situation and it showed lesions on several internal parts…turns out they are all cysts. I had them monitored for a lil over a year and there were no changes so it turned out to be nothing to worry about. I hope that relieves your mind a bit!
Thank you, Vicki. It does help to hear similar stories. I do know that most of these things turn out to be nothing, and honestly- I’m feeling pretty positive, considering. I’m a worrier by nature. I hate that about myself, but it is what it is.
Glad to hear you’re doing well. Thank you again for sharing your story. It does help a lot. Love and light to you. xoxo
Sending best energy. Hoping. As I tell the kids, why waste energy worrying about something you can’t do anything about (and then I go off and worry — so don’t listen to my soapbox crap).
Haha! I’m the same way, Tammy. I worry, worry, worry. Then I tell people not to worry for the same reason you mentioned.
It’s easier said than done.
Thank you for reading and commenting!
Wishing you the best of luck!
Thank you so much, Erin!
I so understand the racing thoughts, the fears, and the tears; I’ve walked a similar, but different path. All our journeys are individual but commonly bonded by emotions. We try to stand strong, only to succumb to fear and anger, we cry, we dry the tears and stand up strong once again, reassuring ourselves and those we love that “everything is going to be fine.” Then, we repeat the cycle until we are given the official “all clear” post-op. My thoughts are with you and your family, and celebrating with you in advance of the “all clear.”
Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful words. It’s really all we can do to wait and go through the cycles. I’ve cried and laughed about it already, and I just know it’s going to be nothing, despite my natural tendency to create the worst-case-scenario out of everything.
Thank you for keeping me and my family in your thoughts. xoxo
You got all that and more hun!! So sorry you are having to deal with this. Unfortunately I am an old pro at this “oh you are fine but we found something weird” crud. Try not to worry, I’m 3 surgeries in and other than a bit of discomfort/pain afterwards, nothing untoward happened. I’m sure that you will be fine, best to have found it now for sure because it is always earlier is better with this stuff. And an encouraging thought is that you did find it now and not 10 years from now, so there must be a good reason right? Stay strong, you have so many wonderful people praying for you and pulling for you, it wouldn’t dare be anything but fine 😉 and if you ever need an understanding ear, well just track me down – I’m around ❤
Thank you for your thoughtful and kind words, Dawn. They truly do mean a lot. You’re so right, too, about everything. I’m glad it was found. I shudder to think about it not being found and where I’d be in 5-10 years. Now that’s scary! Thank you for your prayers! xoxo
So sorry you are going through all this, Karin. We are keeping you close in our hearts and hoping that you will be well. Do not let the fear wear you down, and keep your heart up. Please keep us posted about when your surgeries are scheduled. Sending love to you!
Thanks, Mary. I’m staying as positive as I can. I’m surprising myself, really. It’s not been easy though. I’m just glad it’s almost over. Surgery is Thursday. I won’t know the time until they call sometime on Wednesday. I’ll keep you posted. Thank you again. ❤
All my love and happy thoughts and good juju are being sent to you right now. You’re a tough chick and you’ll come through all of this with flying colors – because you rock! ❤
Thank you, Amy. Your kind words and comment mean a lot. I’ll take all those happy thoughts and all that good juju, thankyouverymuch! Thanks for reading! xoxo
I don’t really like that this is happening, but I like that you wrote about it so I can send you a hug from here. I like that it was found so it can be figured out and taken care of. I like that you are choosing hope and I like that you are my friend. I like you and your kids and your hubby. So there. ♥
Well, I like you, too. You’re too sweet. Thank you for reading, and for your kind words and support. I like that you’re MY friend, too. So there. ❤
You are in my thoughts, have been where you are and all I can say is ‘try’ not to worry too much, it will drain all your energy which you will need to mend from the surgery. Stay strong, and you will come through the other side of this bump in the road of your life…sending you love and prayers…
Thank you for reading and for your kind words, Lesley. I’m staying as positive as I can. The worry is on the back burner for now. I ain’t got time for that. Hehe. Thank you for the love and prayers. They are much needed right now. xoxo
WOW! I am so sorry you are going through all of this…..I know the waiting is the hardest part, the racing mind, the what ifs etc… but HUGE KUDOS TO YOU…this is 2013 and yet too many doctors do not take a woman’s medical complaints seriously but if a man had the same symptoms??? the testing would have begun immediately. Thank you for sharing this maybe others will not let their doctors just brush off their pain, concerns, and symptoms with a let’s wait and see line of B. S. I am so glad you decided to see a different doctor and that doctor listened to you…too many don’t ad women suffer and even die because of an overly passive doctor. Please keep us posted on your progress….you are in my thoughts and prayers 🙂
Thanks so much for reading, Connie. And thank you for your comment. You’re so right. My pcp didn’t take my pain very seriously, and she wanted me to try and fix it with diet, not even knowing what it was. While I do appreciate her attempt to save me from possible unnecessary testing, this one simple ultrasound set all of this in motion and even though I’m scared, I’m glad this mass was found now instead of 5-10 years from now. That’s even scarier.
Thank you again for your thoughtful commment! xoxo
❤
Thanks for reading, Jo. ❤
Oh Karin, I have just read this for the first time- I feel your worry! as I too would be worried and just plain panicked!!!!! Please keep us posted, You and your family are in our thoughts and are lifting you up to hope and healing! 🙂
Thank you so much, Karen. It is scary, but I know deep down that it’s all okay. I panicked and worried a lot this past month. I’m just ready for it to all be over. I’m choosing hope. Thank you for reading and for your thoughts. They are much appreciated right now. xoxo
I am glad that I came across your blog. I am sorry that you are going through so much anxiety & worry. I really do know the feeling and I’ve been trying to get the feelings out of me but you really have hit the nail on the head. I have had abdominal issues since my 1st c-section in 2001 and the VA/Army has passed me around and not done anything to help.
Finally I am getting help through a different VA location but it’s still so sketchy. They GYN/surgeon tells me he’s “pretty sure it’s not cancer but we won’t know till we get in there.”
The 15th of May is a long way away still.
Best of luck to you.
Ugh. That stinks. I’m sorry. I hope they figure it all out soon. I’m really glad you found my blog, too. Thank you so much for reading and for your thoughtful and supportive comment.
Love and light to you, Jackie. xoxo
I hate to hear that you are going through this. Having just gone through surgery a week ago I know about the worry. Hope all goes well and they find out that it isn’t something to worry about. Will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Best of luck.
Thank you, Kim. I’m feeling confident and hopeful, but nervous. I’ve never had surgery before, and the idea of being unconscious freaks me out. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. xoxo
Stay strong pretty lady! xoxo
Thank you!
Prayers and positive thoughts…I remember the doctor appt when I was asked into the Doctor’s actual office….I knew then things were not good. That was over 20 years ago. Stay positive!
Thank you for your prayers and positive thoughts! I sure can use them. Also thanks for reading and commenting. Hooray for your continued health! xoxo
praying for you. You are stronger than you know.
Thank you so much, Nellie. xoxo
I don’t know you, but it appears that we have a mutual friend, Sheila. She shared your post on Mary Tyler Mom and that led me here. I am sorry to learn of what you’re going through. I know, all to well, that the waiting is the hardest part, the not knowing is the hardest part. I’m lifting you up, sending a hug and choosing hope for you.
Thank you so much, Kathleen. Yes, I do know Sheila. I believe I know your story as well. I’ve read some of Aidan’s story. I feel guilty complaining about my minor issues knowing full well what you and Sheila and so many more people have had to go through. My issues are miniscule compared to what you still face daily.
Not knowing does stink, but I’m feeling really hopeful. I’m mostly just scared of the surgery at this point.
Thank you for your kind words, and your hope. They mean a lot coming from you. ❤
I’m so sorry that this is happening to you.
For the last few weeks I’ve had a Post-It note on my computer with a quote from Corrie ten Boom. I’ve been pondering it, and applying it here and there to life. But now I see that The Universe gave it to me so I could give it to you.
“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength.”
It’s hard to tell someone who’s a worrier not to worry. I know, because I am a reformed worrier. But oddly enough, my cancer experience is what taught me how useless and destructive worrying is. For the last eight years, I get checked twice a year. I’ve gotten to where I sometimes forget I’m waiting for test results in the days that follow my check-up. I learned that every day I give to Worrying is a day I never get back.
I know you’re not the praying kind, but I am. So my prayers will be offered for you — and for your loved ones — to have peace, comfort, and healing. Love and light to you, my friend.
Oh, Lisha. Thank you for your beautiful comment. I hate worrying. I really do. I try and try not to let it happen, but it always does inevitably.
I am feeling very hopeful though, and am more scared about the surgery than anything else at this point.
That quote is perfect. Thank you. And I do pray, just not to the christian deity. Your prayers are greatly appreciated. Thank you again for your kind words and prayers. They really do mean so much to me. ❤
Beautifully said, Lisha!
I am very happy that they found all the other stuff “incidentally”. The sooner they catch it, the better. Good for you for listening to your body and doing something about it. So many people are either too scared to go to the doctor or think it will go away eventually. Sending a whole lot of healing prayers your way.
Thank you for reading and commenting, Becky.
I’m trying to see the positive to all of this. I know had this stuff not been found, who knows what could have happened in the future?
It’s still scary, but I’m feeling hopeful. I’m just nervous about the surgery now. I am usually too scared to go to the Dr, and I am also one of those wait and see if it goes away types of people. I’m just really glad I decided to listen to my body this time.
Thank you for your prayers. xoxo
Karin, thank you for sharing all that you are going through. I think when we voice our worries and hurts they don’t hold as much power. And also in sharing, we offer ourselves a chance to connect with others and feel not so alone. I love that so many people have commented and are pouring their love and well wishes on you. I want to give you my “go to” phrase that my sister sent to me on a card when I was facing uncertainty and pain. You have probably heard it, but here it is: “Everything will be okay in the end, If its not okay its not the end.” Today I send you hope. Lots and lots of hope. Hug it close to your chest and don’t let it go. Prayers coming your way, too. Much love to you, friend.
Thank you so much, Rachel. Sharing this has helped me in more ways than I could have imagined. I only wish I had shared it sooner. People have been coming out of the woodwork just to wish me well and to let me know that I’m in their thoughts. It is so overwhelming and humbling. I feel truly blessed.
I know that everything will be okay. I am feeling very hopeful. Just nervous about surgery, but that is to be expected.
Thank you for taking the time to read and leave such a wonderful comment. I always love seeing your comments here. I admire you and your writing so much. Thank you also for the hope and prayers. I can use all I can get. ❤
You are so welcome. I will be waiting anxiously for your next update. I hope you have a restful night, dear one.
Don’t cry! Have positive thoughts, listen to the people that loves you and supports you, and everything’s gonna be allright. Always be positive, in darkest times you need a smile to shine. It’s hard, i know. But you are going on the right way. Be brave like you are! I send love to you from Argentina ❤ *sorry for my poor english :(*
Thank you so much, Euge! Love all the way from Argentina is pretty special. Thank you. Three days post-surgery, I am home and feeling a bit better. Still sore. Very tired, but on the mend. Your english is just fine. Thank you for reading and commenting! xoxo
I believe the surgery is over(due to different timezones) so I send you all my possitive energy and hope and stregth and courage (i have a tattoo on me with that “let courage define who you are”)..I will pray for you sweetheart..from Greece, all my love,keep on..
Oh my goodness! Greece?! How did you find me? thank you so much for reading my blog and for your kind and thoughtful comment. All of this love and positive thought from all over the world are just overwhelming and so very wonderful! xoxo
sending good thoughts and positive vibes! ❤
Thank you, April! 3 days post-surgery, and I’m feeling better! xoxo
I’m a follow of Crazy Dumbsaint on FB and she posted about your blog this morning. I just want you to know you have another person (me) in your corner! Yup, I’m here with my pom poms … your very own cheerleader.
Gimme a K
Gimme a A
Gimme a R
Gimme a I
Gimme a N
What’s that spell? KARIN! Karin, you got this! And, you have your people, including blog followers, who will see you through this crisis.
I lit a candle for you today and it will burn all day today except for when I leave for my own doctor’s appt. My thoughts are with you as I send you healing energy, love, and light.
*Hugs*
Britta
Oh my goodness. Thank you so much, Britta! You are so sweet. I am so touched by your comments. Apparently the surgery went well, and 3 days later I’m home and on the mend. I appreciate your support more than you know! xoxo
So sweet, Britta!
Sending you positive thoughts!
Thank you so much, aikifox! xoxo
SENDING ALL OF THE HOPE AND GOOD THINGS!
THANK YOU, STEPHANIE! xoxo
I don’t even know you, and I’m sitting here with my heart in my throat worrying for you! Kudos to you being brave and honest and putting yourself out here on the interwebs!
Today is your surgery day, and I sincerely hope it all goes smoothly! Hopefully by the time you get a chance to even look at your blog again you will have answers for what this ‘mass’ is and they use the word benign. But even if they don’t, know: you CAN get through this. Be strong. Be hopeful. Just keep on being your wonderful self. Know this too: you have the hopes and prayers of many with you, you are not alone.
I’m sending you all the good juju I can muster.
Thank you for your kind words, Melissa. I can’t express how it feels to have so many people that I don’t even know rooting for me, thinking of me, and sending me prayers and positive thoughts. The internet is a powerful, magical thing.
Thank you for reading, and for leaving such a sweet comment. I’m online now for the first time since surgery. It’s been 3 days, and I’m feeling alright. I’m sore and tired, but feeling hopeful. I haven’t talked to the doctor about the mass yet, but I feel good about it. And if I’m wrong, then I’ll deal with that when the time comes. I’m too busy healing to sit around worrying anymore.
Thank you again. Your support means a lot to me. xoxo
Hi There,
Just want you to know that I have also been having stomach problems and went for an ultrasound a couple of weeks ago. The doctor also found a small cystic lesion on my kidney and said that it was not dangerous, but to come back in a year for a follow-up ultrasound. Just want to let you know that you are doing the right thing and by being pro-active about your health you will be worrying less in the long run. Just try to keep positive!
Thank you, Andrea. These are the stories I like to hear about. I’m glad your doctor was able to see right away that it was a cystic lesion and that you didn’t have to have any surgery. This recovery process is no fun.
I’m feeling very hopeful that my mass was also just a cyst. No word from the doctor yet, but it’s still the weekend. I’m hoping to hear nothing from him all week, too, because in this situation, no news is hopefully good news. I’ll have a follow-up in a week, and we’ll discuss it then, I’m sure.
Thank you again. Love and light to you. xoxo
Hi Karin – Just sending you a hug and my hopes for the best for you. Sending you my best thoughts on compassion. – Janet
Thank you, Janet! Hugs and compassion are always welcome! xoxo Thank you for reading!
hello. this is strange, i am writing from a completely different area of the world, but i recognise a lot of what you describe. i went through a similar thing when i was really, really young (23). it turned out not to be nothing but that was ok, because what it was, was manageable and curable and it all turned out as well as one could hope. i know you know that your doctor is being vague because of liability and because a scared patient is much more difficult to deal with. anyway. what i want to say is this: it sounds trite, and stupid, and really really dumb BUT: one day at a time. whatever happens in the end, in the meantime you will see that you will be going through the five stages of mourning: anger, denial, bargaining, depression, acceptance. nothing to it, completely normal. there will be days of panic, there will be days of despair, of hope, of denial, of everything. you cannot do anything but wait. wait it out. one step at a time. best of luck to you.
Thank you, Flora, for taking the time to read and to write such a sweet comment. I am just in awe by all the readers form around the world. It amazes me that my wee blog could reach people on the other side of the planet.
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m glad to know you are well.
I have been through those stages, for sure. Right now, I am 3 days post- surgery, and I’m doing as well as can be expected.
Thank you again. I am taking it one step at a time. xoxo
Bless you, hon. Sounds like you already have the strength to face any outcome, but I’ll pray for your good health & relief.
Awww. Thank you, Elle. I don’t know if I really have the strength, or if I just talk a good talk. I’m 3 days post-surgery and feeling pretty rough still, but at least I’m home.
Thank you again. xoxo
This happened to my mom several years ago. In doing a ct scan of her gallbladder they found a cancer on her kidney. Took it out and she’s fine. I hope the same for you. Good luck and God bless.
Thanks for sharing, David. My husband’s father also apparently had a cancerous growth on his kidney a few years back. They took it out, and he’s fine. I’m feeling hopeful that mine was not cancer though. Glad to hear your mom is well. Thank you for reading. xoxo
Not sure if you’re dealing with the gallstones anymore at this point, but if you do return your attention to them at some point, it would be worth trying this natural gallstone flush before surgery! You want to keep your gallbladder if you can, and this flush really works: http://happyhomemaker88.com/tag/dr-lai-chiu-nans-gallstone-natural-remedy/
Good luck with your surgery, I hope everything goes smoothly!
Thank you for the info, Kate! I’ll definitely be looking into this once I’m healed and feeling better.
I’m doing alright so far. Thank you for your well-wishes!
You are very brave writing this post. So many people can relate to the anxiety, fear, unknown and ultimately, hope that all is well. I know I can. Positive thoughts coming your way.
Thank you so much, Terri! I’m feeling pretty okay 3 days post-op. Sore and tired, but on the mend. xoxo
Hola P~n~P 🙂
Any updates on your surgeries? I am hopeful all pathology reports were negatory ghost rider! 🙂
Well, sure! I’m sorry I didn’t post about it. I made a silly assumption that everyone who reads my blog already follows my fb page.
Yes, all pathology was negative. What I had on my kidney was called an angiomyolipoma. It’s a big word for a mass of fat, muscle, and blood cells that just suddenly grow where they don’t belong. It’s a benign mass, but once they reach a certain size, they can rupture and cause internal bleeding; so it was a blessing to have it taken out!
Thank you so much for keeping me in your thoughts and asking! Sorry again that I didn’t follow-up with a post. I’m lame that way. I do hope you’ll read in the future when I do post though! xoxo
Sending thoughts of good health your way.
Thank you for reading! 6 months later and all is well. I just recently had a follow-up for the nodules on my lungs and they haven’t changed. The growth on my kidney was benign. It was something called an angiomyolipoma. Thank you again.
Any new updates? Haven’t heard from you in awhile!!!
I don’t know you. This is the first time I’ve read your blog and I will not insult you by say all will be well. What I will tell you is if it is your worse fear there are people out there who will help.Don’t hesitate to ask, for you or for your family.
Thank you. All is well. I learned to ask for help because of this experience. I hope you’ll read again. xoxo