Before I decided to start writing this blog, I gave it a lot of thought. As I’ve said before, I’m a worrier. So naturally, I worried if I’d have enough interesting stuff to say every day. I realized that I probably wouldn’t, and that would be okay.
Now here I am today, really wanting to write and get something out there, but I have nothing specific to write about. I don’t want to just ramble, because then you guys will lose interest pretty quickly, but I really just want to write.
I’m not one of those bloggers who will mass produce posts and save them for a rainy day. That’s just not my style, all organized and prepared and shit. No way, that’s not for me.
I am hoping to be inspired by something in my life that I am so moved that I want to write about it right then and there.
So here I am, in the upstairs room of our little bungalow, and I’m looking around for inspiration. Looking for something special to make me say, “Ah, hah! That’s it! I must blog about that!” but it’s not happening.
I see lots of books and papers and musical instruments and mess. We have been neglecting this space since we moved in here nearly 10 months ago. Partially because it’s kinda out of sight, out of mind, but mostly because we’re lazy, procratinating bitches.
The “we” I am referring to is Christopher and myself, of course. We don’t get up here as often as we’d like to, and when we do, we’re usually watching movies or having relations or something not at all productive. (Fun, yes. Productive, not so much.)
Chris comes up here to write and to explore all of his musical equipment that he someday hopes to use to make a best-selling children’s album. He also wants me to sing with him, but that’s just crazy talk. Mama doesn’t sing in front of anyone except the kiddos. They don’t judge, ya know? (Not that Chris would judge, because he totally wouldn’t. He’s the coolest. I’m just hella insecure.)
Some days, I still can’t believe I’m here in this space with him that we manifested for ourselves. When we met (more like reconnected…will explain in a future post) 2 years ago, I never imagined I’d fall in love with him and have my life turned upside down by him and someday live with him and be planning a life together with him. He’s opened my eyes to so much and he’s changed my way of thinking and my entire life for the better.
There were times over the past 2 years that I doubted we’d make it. It’s been a long and tough road, but we never lost sight of what we wanted more than anything: to be together in the same space and to share our lives. There were lots of visits in that time (and more relations, of course), and then many hours spent online and on the phone together searching for the perfect home. Our moving date got pushed back over and over again, and it started feeling hopeless. We thought we’d found the right house once, and it just didn’t work out.
And then Chris reluctantly agreed to go out looking at houses again one day. He made an appt. with his realtor (who was probably so over our house search at this point, but she was a trooper) and they looked at 5 new houses that weekend on a Saturday. Our little bungalow was one of those houses, and he immediately knew it was the right one. He made a video on his phone to show me, and I feel in love with it, too. He made an offer on Tuesday, they accepted the offer on Friday and it’s all history from there.
What we had hoped and dreamed of for over a year was finally going to happen. We were going to be buying a house and starting our life together! I remember moving day and think it will stay in my mind as one of the best days of my life. The first time I stepped into our home was such an overwhelming moment for me. (I was living in Ohio while he was here in Michigan, so I hadn’t seen it in person yet) I broke down in tears and cried because I was finally somewhere I was supposed to be.
All of my stuff would be in the same space as his stuff and it would eventually just become our stuff. And that’s what I see while I sit here today looking for inspiration. I’m surrounded by what’s mostly his stuff, only now it’s our stuff in our home that we share. Just like we hoped and planned. How’s that for inspiration? Who knew?
This reminds me how magical life is, and how there’s beauty and inspiration everywhere if you only take a moment to see it. Even in the messiest of places, there’s always something.
Even in this awful picture….
Inspired and In love,